The Girl Who Needs A Blueprint

A mind full of plans in a world full of chaos

We’re in the car headed home when The Architect drops her sippy cup…
Me: It’s ok, we are almost home and we will get it
The Architect: (she sighs) Mama, I’m just so disappointed..
Me: What did you say?
The Architect: I’m just disappointed
Me: Why are you disappointed?
The Architect: Because your not gettin my milk for me

Me: It’s ok, we are almost home and we will get it

She just turned 3 and she’s already telling me she’s disappointed. 

That was one of my first clues that the Architect’s brain works a little differently than most toddlers.

She knows the alphabet, can count to 21, and can name animals I wouldn’t have expected a toddler to know – elephants, kangaroos, orangutans, peacocks, and so many more.

The Architect is both brilliant and organized.

She is obsessed with her things being in exactly the right spot. Barbies and dolls have their own drawers next to each other and “assesseries” go in the one below it. Blocks, animals and balls have their own place too. Shoes get lined up along the wall and puzzles go on one shelf while books go on another. 

Here we are, exactly 7 years later and things haven’t changed. 

She spent hours dumping her new earrings out and putting them back in the jewelry box by size, then by type, then by favorites. Over and over, day after day for weeks. 

Everything has to be absolutely perfect. But that need for perfection comes with a downside.
She carries the weight of constant anxiety and fear of making mistakes and failing. 

Sometimes the anxiety just radiates from her. 

It shows in the way she fidgets, paces, and stomps her feet.
In frustrated sighs and the quiet “ugh… it’s just not right”. 
In the moments when she suddenly erupts and insists she can’t do it all.

I’m always reassuring her that it will all be ok and everything doesn’t have to be “perfect” but it’s still unacceptable to her. 

Routine and change is a big deal too. She wakes up at the same time every day and while she has the option to stay up late on the weekends, she’s often the one that says “I’m tired. I’m going to bed” before anyone else. 

If we’re running 10 minutes late it’s a constant “Mom, Mom, when are you going to be ready?” and “Mom! We have to go!”

It’s all about the planning, the process and the blueprints.

Everything is carefully thought through – the what-ifs, the possible outcomes, and what to do if things go awry.

The world is a crazy place with noise and commotion. She’s always on the watch for the unexpected and doing her best to prepare for it all. 

When it gets too overwhelming, she looks for a quiet space to hide away. A big neon light flashing “DO NOT DISTURB” in red.
While she can be very detailed and complex, she’s also sensitive and soft. She speaks quietly and gives gifts to everyone to show her love and loyalty. 

But there is one place where The Architect lets all the pressure disappear.

No one loves animals the way The Architect does. Cats, dogs, cows, capybaras, bunnies, fish… if there’s an animal, nothing else matters. She’ll pet, love and spoil them. 

Over the years I’ve learned that getting angry, losing my cool and yelling does no good with The Architect. 

It’s all about patience, calmness, and communication. Breaking down the big problems into little pieces and working through each one until we figure it out. 

Sometimes it comes down to letting her release all the pressure and stress she builds up. Offering her hugs and cuddles, which are sometimes rejected, but always like gold. 

She plans, she prepares, and she studies. It’s just the way her world is and that’s ok. She’s perfectly imperfect and I only hope for her to see herself the way I see her. To see how amazing, brilliant and strong she is. 

I’ve learned a lot as a mom to The Architect. 

I’ll do everything I can to teach her that perfection isn’t necessary as long as she does her best and tries again when things don’t go the way she wants. To breathe and remember that no matter what mistakes are made or when things go wrong, she’s always enough.

The Architect is her biggest critic but I’ll always be her biggest cheerleader.

Her world runs on blueprints, careful planning, and quiet precision. 

And I’ve learned that my job isn’t to redesign that world. 

It’s to help her feel safe building it.

This is…

3 Worlds, 1 Mom✨